Currently viewing the category: "Family Counselling Perth"

Communication problems can be solved easily  🙂

Communication problems can escalate into major conflicts if not addressed in the early stages. Imago therapy equips you with skills that make your communication easy, effective and pleasurable.

Imagine all your communication problems replaced in only a few sessions where you are coached to become really good at effective communication!

How is your listening?

Do you just sit there quietly waiting to for the other to stop speaking so you can give your view, some advice or walk off without a word?

Good listening is active, where we give feedback to the speaker that lets them know how we’ve understood it. If we are really good, we also acknowledge how things makes sense that the speaker feels or thinks the way that they do.

How good are you at giving Empathy?

Communication problems often have only one thing missing. Empathy is different to sympathy.

Communication problems

She looks understood

How would you like to feel understood by your partner, parent, child in every discussion – no matter how difficult the subject is?

Do others feel like you understand their FEELINGS?

Yes, that’s the key ingredient  🙂

We will coach you how to do this essential skill.  It’s hard to do in a conflict situation, so why not practice when sharing nice things?

During the coaching sessions we deal with the core issues – hot potatoes  🙂

What if we Disagree?

Can you agree to disagree?  If you learn the above skills – it will be easy to see it from their perspective.  Often it’s the interesting different strengths that attract you to a person… but what happens?

Do we mention ‘power struggles’?

More likely it’s a person feeling that their needs aren’t being met that blocks their ability to put themselves in the other’s shoes.  So if we can help you with these communication skills – we can make your marriage and other

Communication problems

Admiring other’s differences

relationships exciting again.

Ph 0417 997 016 today to book an appointment


Then reward yourselves with an affordable get-away in the hills next to National Park only 30km from Perth CBD

Family patterns are important to understand

Family patterns can help you in your future relationships when there is a history of healthy relationships between couples, and parents with their children.  But what if they are not and you are trying to change some automatic reactions that you’ve learned?

Change your family patterns

Family patterns

Family patterns

Imago therapy coaches couples, and parents with children to communicate in such a way, that each person understands how the family traditional way impacts upon the other person.

When we understand the emotional impact on those that we love, and hear what their wish is – we can see really easily how to modify our response in certain situations. We can propose to start training ourself to do things differently from now on. When both know what the proposed change is – they can both support and help each other to take charge of your own relationship.

Learn to Recognise Family patterns

An online book showing how family patterns appear even without generations having met each other is about to be launched – check out facebook page Alida Gets Life. An aunt’s behavioural reactions are mirrored by a niece on the other side of the world – even before the niece knew of the aunt’s existence.

At this stage, please join the page. You will be the first to find out when a special landing page is available for you to complete a free subscription:-)

Family patterns

Family patterns

History repeats itself

Unless we recognise and take charge of how we live, communicate and think, we can unconsciously just do the same as previous generations. So we need to understand what’s happening first.  When reading or hearing about another family’s patterns sometimes we see it in our own family.


When subscribers receive their monthly chapter…

You will be emailed the chapter which will have some questions to think about… it’s up to you.  Ph 0417 997 016 if you need any help 🙂

Valentine’s Purpose is to Cultivate Romance

Valentine’s Purpose is to create an opportunity to rekindle the Romance that brought you together to the point of deciding to commit to each other. Research has shown that within 2 years, most couples’ romantic behaviours have decreased – some say disappeared. Oops, what is holding the relationship together now?

Lost that Loving Feeling?

Imago Therapy focuses on Valentine’s Purpose which is rekindling Romance 🙂 We give you wonderful homework that often is what transforms a relationship soon after the first session! But they say it takes 66 days practice to establish a new habit – or get rid of the bad ones. We used to estimate 21 days… but hey, if it’s nice it’s got to be an improvement.  We take you back to the beginning… what was it that attracted you to each other?

Valentine's Purpose

Valentine’s Purpose

Reminiscing the Romance

It might be just the tonic that will boost your relationship again. Try sharing with each other what attracted you to the other – whilst you share a simple meal in a special place like the beach at sunset. The weather is going to be magic for that on Valentine’s Day!


Relationship Vision

We have a career and organisational ‘vision’ and ‘mission statement’… why not your relationship?

When we know where we stand in relation to each other and what our purpose is to each other, we feel secure and our actions or words can spring from those intentions. Here’s something else new to discuss on this romantic time together alone on Valentine’s Day 🙂

How did your Valentine’s Day go?

Valentine's Purpose

Valentine’s Purpose

Did somebody miss the opportunity?  Did you miss the mark?  Was somebody disappointed?  Imago Relationship Coaching can help you learn more about what each of you likes as a surprise or treat at this stage of life – it probably isn’t the same as 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago…. pre-children!  Book a session 🙂 Phone 0417 997 016 today.

Pre-marital Coaching is your best insurance 🙂

Pre-marital Coaching will build a firm foundation for your relationship and save a lot of heartache. Most of us don’t begin a university course, a job or buy an expensive home without doing some research and in-depth exploration. Why not do the same homework with our partner?

Imago pre-marital coaching is a gentle discovery where we learn how to care for our partner in the way that s/he needs ?


Have You Chosen the Right Partner?

Many say this the day before the wedding, but seriously did you even know what you were looking for? Once you’ve become comfortable with each other, and some of the excitement has died down would be the ideal time to start doing some reputable questionnaires.

It’s important to do this instead of adding in excitement by planning the wedding, next holiday together or a party or

Pause before Marriage

Pause before Marriage

simply getting busy.

Yes, I’ve heard people describe doing all these things when they finally come to counselling because they have not been able to resolve issues.


How to Evaluate whether your partner is the Right One for you?

Who does she or he remind you of?

What is so familiar about him or her?

What is the quality of your relationship with the care-giver who your partner reminds of.

How confident are you in expressing your needs, opinions and emotions?

Does your partner respond in a way which encourages you or frustrates you?

There are a lot more questions to answer too.  How have you gone so far?

Are you having trouble answering the questions?


There is a MUCH EASIER WAY to do this….

Phone  0417 997 016 for an appointment where you will be taken through a gentle pre-marital process of discovery which will prevent problems becoming mammoth before you seek help. If you let issues become mammoth

pre-marital coaching

pre-marital coaching

problems, the tidal wave can cause so much destruction which will take so much more effort to repair… perhaps more effort than both of you might be prepared to invest.  What a pity to let a mouse become a mammoth, due to lack of preparation, research and exploration of how best to care for each other.


Discuss these Questions with your closest friends and family

Do you agree with their answers?

Are you finding yourself defending your partner = your choice?

Pre-marital coaching creates a safe space for you both to explore weaknesses and strengths whilst learning how to develop weaknesses into helpful opportunities to be important to our partner?  Ph 0417 997 016 today for your session 🙂

Join us this Wednesday 31 Jan for a movie showing what could happen without Pre-marital coaching.

Relationship Cheating can be a catalyst for Relationship Improvement

Relationship Cheating might feel like it’s everywhere, but experts have a hard time pinpointing exactly how many people cheat. It makes sense that nobody wants to be honest and own up to the fact that they do it.

“The general belief is that if a person is lying to their partner, why wouldn’t they also lie to a researcher?” says Anita Chlipala, LMFT, a dating and relationships expert. One expert we spoke to, estimated that 25% of men and 14% of women cheat in a lifetime; another said they thought it was between 20-60% of couples in a lifetime.

So it’s hard to say at this point how much it happens. Not to mention, most studies are done on heterosexual couples, so there’s a big subset of the population that’s not even being included in those estimates.

Definition of Relationship Cheating

Cheating or Not?

Cheating or Not?

Relationship Cheating also encompasses a spectrum of behaviors, and every couple has different definitions for what cheating really entails.

Open relationships, or sex outside of an otherwise monogamous relationship with the consent of both partners, is not cheating — by definition, cheating involves lying. Chlipala suspects that the number of people who cheat might actually be growing because of these flimsy definitions.

“One of the prime reasons why people cheat is because of opportunity and circumstance,” she says. “Now, people have access to dating apps, or they can reconnect with an old flame on Facebook. Some people are surprised that emotional cheating is actually a thing.” Many cheating scenarios start innocently and spiral, she adds. One survey found that 76% of women thought it was cheating to send flirty texts, compared to 59% of men.

Here’s a way to open the subject with your partner 🙂

Invite them to accompany you to this award-winning movie which is followed by a discussion with the producer, local actor Ben Mortley and two relationship counsellors, including myself Francess Day 🙂

It’s a topic every couple should be able to have a light-hearted conversation about.

Relationship Cheating trends

What we do know is that socioeconomic background matters, and affluent men are more likely to cheat, but the reverse is true for women, says Andrea Bonior, PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships.

Chlipala says that she thinks infidelity can be contagious, and you’re more likely to do it if people around you are. In fact, research suggests that divorce could be contagious, so it’s not far-fetched to think affairs could work the same way.

“We derive social norms from looking around, so it’s reasonable that a group of friends who are being unfaithful to spouses would be more likely to consider that,” Bonior says. Even though your infidelity threshold could change, she adds that “norms are a powerful thing,” so you have to be careful about what you consider acceptable behavior.

Breathe a sigh of Relief

So, whether or not infidelity is actually a “part of life” for everyone, it’s pretty clear that the statistics aren’t quite there to back up that claim. We might have some insight into factors that affect someone’s likelihood to cheat, but it’s definitely not true or worth it to say that cheating is the norm — because, as far as we know, it’s not.

Cheating partner?  How do you know?

If you’re worried about feeling that your partner is cheating – it’s best to book a counselling session to access an impartial, professional perspective on your concerns. Ph 0417 997 016 today.

It’s better to not come out and accuse your partner before you’re sure.

Such an accusation is a trust destroyer too. There are other ways to have a conversation around ‘what would you do if you found me cheating on you?’.

You might like to book in for a movie followed by a discussion with another counsellor and myself afterwards. More info about the movie at

Can you Prevent your partner cheating?

I believe that you can, using Imago Communication processes. In only about 6 sessions, I will equip you with advanced communication skills which will increase the quality of loving between you. While we do that, we will have learned about and addressed the needs you and your partner have – which we are often not consciously aware of.

The most common thing that people say after their first session is:-

‘I knew the facts about that event in your life, but never realised how it plays out in our relationship… I feel I understand you much better now.’

Why not invest in the most effective, value for money insurance – and enjoy a more satisfying relationship in 2018?  Ph 0417 997 016 today for an appointment 🙂

Cheating partner Statistics

Some of your questions might be answered by reading the following, however cheating people are already lying, so researcher’s can’t really get the truth either.  However, if you follow some of the links, you will learn answers to some of the common questions that people have.

GoogleSearch Results

1.1.       Are Men More Likely to Cheat than Women? | Men’s Health

Sep 28, 2015 – Conventional wisdom says that women are less likely to commit infidelity than men. Here’s what the research shows.

People also ask the following about Cheating partner Statistics

Who cheats more married men or women?

Who is more likely to cheat a man or a woman?

What percentage of spouses cheat on each other?

What is the percentage of wives who cheat?


1.2.      Women Are Now Cheating As Much As Men – NYMag…/women-are-now-cheating-as-much-as-men-but-with-fewer-c…


May 26, 2016 – Women and men are now taking an equal-opportunity approach to extramarital hanky-panky. A report out of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University found that, for the first time in modern history, women are cheating at nearly the same rate as men. Another study, published in the National Opinion Research …

1.3.       Infidelity Statistics 2017: Why, When, and How People Stray – Trustify


Feb 1, 2017 – People who have cheated before are 350% more likely to cheat again. Affairs are most likely to occur two years into a marriage. 35% of men and women admit to cheating while on a business trip. 9% of men admit they might have an affair to get back at a spouse. 14% of women admit they might have an …

1.4.       Wives Are Cheating 40% More Than They Used to, but Still 70% as ……men/313704/


Jul 2, 2013 – The ratio of males to females is greatest among users older than 65, with 14 men for every woman. The ratio is 4-to-1 among users in their 50s, 3-to-1 for spouses in their 40s, and evenly divided among people using Ashley Madison in their 30s. But there’s no word on whether or not the NORC survey …

Inter-generational Trauma – Learning to stop cycles

Inter-generational Trauma can get more complicated or

We can take steps to heal it so that we don’t pass it on to our children, and grand-children.

The first step is becoming aware of what is healthy functioning, because whatever we grow up with is ‘normal’ to us and our family.

Inter-generational Trauma

Healing Inter-generational Trauma

It’s familiar.


How to Identify Inter-generational Trauma

It is always useful to attend personal development workshops to get ahead in our highly competitive world. Often through sharing at this deeper level, we become aware of different ‘normals’ or can rate ourselves using questionnaires. Have you discovered that you are above or below average for anxiety, obsessive behaviours or being eager to please?


Reading books is another great source of insight.

I am writing a book about a lady’s exploration of the impact of her grandmother’s trauma on different generations of her family. She is a grandchild who has the opportunity to observe her grandmother’s great great grandchildren – 5 generations behaviour patterns to learn from.  You might like to follow the Facebook page


At school or other interactions with peers, we discover that our family’s way of doing things is ‘different’;

we hear about aspects of other’s lives which we wish for.

Film and social media have also taken us into other’s worlds or experiences


Questioning Family Norms

Whatever it is that starts you talking to others about things which concern you; the most important thing to do is honour yourself by seeking assistance to improve your situation, feelings and future.



  1. Individual Counselling
  2. Imago Relationship Therapy/coaching
  3. Group Support & Therapy


How does Relationship Therapy heal Inter-generational Trauma?

I thought I’d do Imago Relationship Therapy training as a balance to my trauma work and found it to be my most powerful tool to heal trauma!

  • Who do you spend most time with?

    Healing Relationships

    Healing Relationships

  • Whose opinions, comments and actions do you value most?

An hour’s counselling is paddling upstream if a person’s home environment or family relationships are not helping the healing process.

By empowering a person’s significant other with skills to give the support that the person needs improves the relationship. Our loved ones can suffer secondary traumatic stress from not knowing what to do. When they learn what is the best way to respond – both you and  they feel empowered and experience healing from each other!

Ph 0417 997 016 today to book an appointment

Rekindle Romance for Christmas

Rekindle Romance involves only a few sessions of ‘Relationship Counselling’ with a very special process called Imago. We help you reconnect like you were in the early days in ways which suit your age and current tastes.

Have you wondered why what you did then doesn’t work now?

If you got together at a young age, the things that excited you are probably different to now, so going out on the town till all hours isn’t exciting at all now, especially if you have young children who wake you at dawn 🙂

Why is Christmas so critical?

We all hope that Christmas will be happy and exciting, perhaps like it was when we were young. The social expectations and pressure are almost inescapable. As we age, it becomes increasingly tiresome, but in our heart – we hope…

? That our partner does something special.

Rekindle Romance Christmas Trees

Rekindle Romance Christmas Trees

Do they know what is special to you these days?

It happens every year, often steeped in tradition – so why would we discuss what would make Christmas special for each other?

Just you asking the other in the right way can be the most special thing about this Christmas.


How do I know?

Every year, Christmas brings the most calls for help with relationship counselling, despite spending on other things.

For 30 years, I’v heard what is special for people, and what are the turning points in the marriage or other relationship. My motto is ‘listen to the client’.

Imago processes are easy to learn and practice to maintain a healthy, growing relationship where you can learn what your partner’s needs are today, this year.

Update yourself on your partner’s needs for the New Year

Give yourselves the best Christmas present ever.

Come and learn these simple communication processes now.

Ph 0417 997 016 to book an appointment before Christmas

– although you can phone on that week between Christmas and New Year, like too many have to.

Why wait?

Prevention is better – than trying to patch up after things get too bad to bear.

Add a little romance to your life, especially Christmas and New Year.

Give each other Hope 🙂

Rekindle romance which is relevant and up to date with your partner’s current needs. Listening and affirming each other is a skill that separates unhappy couples from happy couples.

Keep in touch via Facebook 

Happy Christmas and New Year from Francess Day 🙂


PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue are related

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue impact on relationships and family dynamics in huge ways. They also seem to be associated with each other more often than not.

When you or your partner are diagnosed with one of these conditions, it is important for the rest of the family to BELIEVE the sufferer and help in practical ways, including adjust the family diet as pointed out below.

Have you developed Fibromyalgia?

A search for Causes of Fibromyalgia produced a list of 9 possible causes to explore and included the following:-

Traumatic Events and Stress

The adrenal glands become fatigued when a person undergoes a traumatic event or suffers from stress. Often fibromyalgia symptoms first begin to appear following a traumatic experience in a person’s life and stress is well-known to exacerbate the symptoms.”

Looking back, I can verify that my own Fibromyalgic pain becomes severe  in exactly the pattern described above. I also found out the hard way that having a feast of crisp chip/wedges and other fried foods whilst out the other evening made the pain flare up unbelieveably. So I googled and learned things like the following about Inflammatory Foods!

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome [CFS] related to PTSD

Whilst there are more possible causes for CFS, this article about Childhood Trauma having strong links to CFS is worth reading.

Manage Inflammation & Fatigue by Diet

Your vegetable garden contains the best diet!

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue Management

By “wrong diet,” we’re talking about the typical Western diet which is full of inflammation-inducing foods. Think: fried foods, refined flours and sugars, hormone- and antibiotic-laden animal products, synthetic sweeteners, and artificial food additives.

So if you’re constantly noshing on these items, your body will begin to transition into a state of chronic inflammation. This inflammatory, high-energy diet builds belly fat, reduces levels of gut-healthy probiotics, induces weight gain, causes joint pain, bloating, and fatigue, and has been connected with a host of diseases, from diabetes and obesity to heart disease and cancer. And it gets worse: Once you get belly fat, just like an active volcano, it can start spewing out dangerous substances through a condition called “leaky gut.”

PTSD, Chronic Pain or Fatigue Treatments

Dr T has a comprehensive program to offer people which centres around diet management!  Have a look around his web-pages

BUT CHECK OUT THESE WARNINGS by a Fibro/Fatigue Blogger who has FIBROMYALGIA, was a journalist and now researcher

Pre-marital counselling Truths rather than mythology

Pre-marital counselling is the best insurance policy.

Why would you spend so much money on the things that people do for weddings,

And not spend relatively nothing on Safe-guarding your Relationship?

Prepare yourselves to Grow from challenges

Wisdom is entering an agreement with eyes wide open, not with rose-coloured glasses or blinkers

People who understand the challenges, and how to deal with conflict will avoid the disappointment of wedding night blues or fights. In fact, each difference of opinion will strengthen understanding, empathy and wisdom.

Don’t leave it till it’s too late – phone 0417 997 016 today

Have you heard of the variety of Honeymoon Disasters?

When expectations run high, and more alcohol is consumed – your safest insurance against disappointment or disaster is to really know and understand your partner’s weaknesses as well as their strengths.


Do you know what your partner needs most when s/he is vulnerable?

Do you know how to give it when s/he is already upset with you?


Advanced Communication processes

During Pre-marital coaching you learn and practice these skills so that you can handle any disagreement, fight or simmering unhappiness.

Too often one person is or becomes the peace-keeper; and gives in.  Resentment builds up and when it erupts it is often too late for counselling. The passive person has already had enough and just wants out of the relationship. They may have already begun an affair!

Couple Premarital Counselling Perth

Couple Pre-marital Counselling Perth

Imago Relationship coaching assists both partners to express themselves in a way that they are heard and taken seriously. Communication shouldn’t be hard work or unbearable. There’s a listenable way which strengthens the relationship.

Six weeks of preparation can also help the negotiations about the wedding go more smoothly 🙂

Can you afford not to do Pre-marital Counselling & Preparation?

It makes sense to be confident and practiced in these skills when investing so much and your very Life!

Insure your relationship & your life – phone 0417 997 016 today