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Relationship Cheating can be a catalyst for Relationship Improvement

Relationship Cheating might feel like it’s everywhere, but experts have a hard time pinpointing exactly how many people cheat. It makes sense that nobody wants to be honest and own up to the fact that they do it.

“The general belief is that if a person is lying to their partner, why wouldn’t they also lie to a researcher?” says Anita Chlipala, LMFT, a dating and relationships expert. One expert we spoke to, estimated that 25% of men and 14% of women cheat in a lifetime; another said they thought it was between 20-60% of couples in a lifetime.

So it’s hard to say at this point how much it happens. Not to mention, most studies are done on heterosexual couples, so there’s a big subset of the population that’s not even being included in those estimates.

Definition of Relationship Cheating

Cheating or Not?

Cheating or Not?

Relationship Cheating also encompasses a spectrum of behaviors, and every couple has different definitions for what cheating really entails.

Open relationships, or sex outside of an otherwise monogamous relationship with the consent of both partners, is not cheating — by definition, cheating involves lying. Chlipala suspects that the number of people who cheat might actually be growing because of these flimsy definitions.

“One of the prime reasons why people cheat is because of opportunity and circumstance,” she says. “Now, people have access to dating apps, or they can reconnect with an old flame on Facebook. Some people are surprised that emotional cheating is actually a thing.” Many cheating scenarios start innocently and spiral, she adds. One survey found that 76% of women thought it was cheating to send flirty texts, compared to 59% of men.

Here’s a way to open the subject with your partner 🙂

Invite them to accompany you to this award-winning movie which is followed by a discussion with the producer, local actor Ben Mortley and two relationship counsellors, including myself Francess Day 🙂

It’s a topic every couple should be able to have a light-hearted conversation about.

Relationship Cheating trends

What we do know is that socioeconomic background matters, and affluent men are more likely to cheat, but the reverse is true for women, says Andrea Bonior, PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships.

Chlipala says that she thinks infidelity can be contagious, and you’re more likely to do it if people around you are. In fact, research suggests that divorce could be contagious, so it’s not far-fetched to think affairs could work the same way.

“We derive social norms from looking around, so it’s reasonable that a group of friends who are being unfaithful to spouses would be more likely to consider that,” Bonior says. Even though your infidelity threshold could change, she adds that “norms are a powerful thing,” so you have to be careful about what you consider acceptable behavior.

Breathe a sigh of Relief

So, whether or not infidelity is actually a “part of life” for everyone, it’s pretty clear that the statistics aren’t quite there to back up that claim. We might have some insight into factors that affect someone’s likelihood to cheat, but it’s definitely not true or worth it to say that cheating is the norm — because, as far as we know, it’s not.

Cheating partner?  How do you know?

If you’re worried about feeling that your partner is cheating – it’s best to book a counselling session to access an impartial, professional perspective on your concerns. Ph 0417 997 016 today.

It’s better to not come out and accuse your partner before you’re sure.

Such an accusation is a trust destroyer too. There are other ways to have a conversation around ‘what would you do if you found me cheating on you?’.

You might like to book in for a movie followed by a discussion with another counsellor and myself afterwards. More info about the movie at https://www.facebook.com/zelosmovie/photos/a.754753971316656.1073741828.748151565310230/1426882100770503/?type=3&theater

Can you Prevent your partner cheating?

I believe that you can, using Imago Communication processes. In only about 6 sessions, I will equip you with advanced communication skills which will increase the quality of loving between you. While we do that, we will have learned about and addressed the needs you and your partner have – which we are often not consciously aware of.

The most common thing that people say after their first session is:-

‘I knew the facts about that event in your life, but never realised how it plays out in our relationship… I feel I understand you much better now.’

Why not invest in the most effective, value for money insurance – and enjoy a more satisfying relationship in 2018?  Ph 0417 997 016 today for an appointment 🙂

Cheating partner Statistics

Some of your questions might be answered by reading the following, however cheating people are already lying, so researcher’s can’t really get the truth either.  However, if you follow some of the links, you will learn answers to some of the common questions that people have.

GoogleSearch Results

1.1.       Are Men More Likely to Cheat than Women? | Men’s Health

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/female-infidelity

Sep 28, 2015 – Conventional wisdom says that women are less likely to commit infidelity than men. Here’s what the research shows.

People also ask the following about Cheating partner Statistics

Who cheats more married men or women?

Who is more likely to cheat a man or a woman?

What percentage of spouses cheat on each other?

What is the percentage of wives who cheat?

 

1.2.      Women Are Now Cheating As Much As Men – NYMag

nymag.com/betamale/…/women-are-now-cheating-as-much-as-men-but-with-fewer-c…

 

May 26, 2016 – Women and men are now taking an equal-opportunity approach to extramarital hanky-panky. A report out of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University found that, for the first time in modern history, women are cheating at nearly the same rate as men. Another study, published in the National Opinion Research …

1.3.       Infidelity Statistics 2017: Why, When, and How People Stray – Trustify

https://www.trustify.info/blog/infidelity-statistics-2017

 

Feb 1, 2017 – People who have cheated before are 350% more likely to cheat again. Affairs are most likely to occur two years into a marriage. 35% of men and women admit to cheating while on a business trip. 9% of men admit they might have an affair to get back at a spouse. 14% of women admit they might have an …

1.4.       Wives Are Cheating 40% More Than They Used to, but Still 70% as …

https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/07/wives-cheating…men/313704/

 

Jul 2, 2013 – The ratio of males to females is greatest among users older than 65, with 14 men for every woman. The ratio is 4-to-1 among users in their 50s, 3-to-1 for spouses in their 40s, and evenly divided among people using Ashley Madison in their 30s. But there’s no word on whether or not the NORC survey …

Spring clean your Relationship

Spring clean is when we take everything out, decide how useful things are to you in the present and what you need to replace.  When we start a new relationship, we hide away our behaviours which have attracted criticism in our earlier life. As we get comfortable in the relationship, these behaviours creep back and arguments start.

Have old bad habits sneaked back into your lifestyle?

Spring clean the prickly old bad habits

marriage conflict

marriage conflict

out of your marriage, or other important relationships.

If it seems harder than getting past all the obstacles in this picture, and feels like a mountain too steep and sheer to climb… email or give us a phone call 0417 997 016 for some friendly coaching.

Become each other’s Greatest Fan

Imago Coaching teaches you the communication process to resolve any conflict. We empower you in skills which make us redundant after you’ve both practised the process in a few sessions.  While we are doing that, we RESOLVE THE CORE ISSUES 🙂

 

Bridge to Harmony

Bridge to Harmony

Conflict breeds New Growth

By building a bridge and walking in each other’s shoes for a few minutes, we understand what the prickles are all about. We all carry pain that we protect ourselves with some form of defense.

When we understand what the defensive prickle armour is protecting, we can make it safer for the tenderness to blossom.

We do this by using a thorough spring clean approach where all the issues are simply listed, rated just like listing legs, arms, eyes, ears etc. Then we spring clean the ones that you choose first….

Make this Spring a Time for your Relationship to Blossom and Grow

If you’ve tried anything other than Imago Relationship coaching, and not been satisfied – its time to come to the expert relationship counsellor.

You’ll find there’s lots of beautiful big blossoms between the prickles, and you’ll learn to enjoy the honey from being able to negotiate the prickles and connect with the tender beauty of each person.

Enjoy the Honey

Enjoy the Honey

We don’t need a million eyes to see and understand the defenses of our partner, it’s simply learning how to approach and connect with each other in the way that the other needs.

Love in the way your partner needs and be loved in the way that you need 🙂

The first step towards a better relationship is to learn how to have calm and effective ways to talk about the big issues. The Imago Dialogue is a way to have a deep and rewarding conversation, that will help you and your partner really understand all of those annoying issues that seem to always recur in the heat of conflict. Read all about IMAGO therapy here Click here to find out more about Couple-Counselling Perth, or call us today on 0417 997 016. We’d love to hear from you!

Marriage for a lifetime of true love

Marriage for a lifetime of true love

IMAGO differs from other types of counselling where the counsellor maintains a role of “expert”: listens and umpires and advises what each should do. IMAGO Therapy is an Emotion Focussed Therapy where the counsellor facilitates your understanding of your own and your partner’s emotions, reactions and needs. We coach you to discover and create solutions between you so that you can continue doing this after counselling is completed. Most people don’t like to be told what to do. Adults learn by doing and discovering their own wisdom and expertise. We also have defenses that kick in if we detect any blame or shame. This is even more challenging when a CHILD, no matter how old – wants a parent to hear the child’s needs. Unfortunately, the younger CHILD resorts to “acting out”, and Adult Children often just move away and avoid the parent. You can bring your family closer together by learning Imago Communication Skills in less than 6 sessions 🙂